A Lesson in the Indefensible

The D.C., Maryland, and Virginia areas were held in fear as the nation watched in sympathy as a sniper began a terrorizing spree of violence. As the mystery unfolded, the shooter was linked right here to the Pacific Northwest. The media mentioned his family problems in a tone that cast Malvo in an understanding light. He was frustrated with the courts, they had taken away his kids causing him to lose it. Which of course is how he ended up on the east coast. His ex-wife had gone into hiding on the East Coast.

The part the media glossed over was the part where Malvo lost his kids because he beat his wife, a woman he was supposed to love. She was fleeing because the last time he took the kids, he kidnapped them for a whole year. She was afraid of what this man would do to her or her children.

As evens around Malvo’s history unfolded, I expected a much louder outcry from the domestic violence community. This a glaring example of why laws have been created to bar those convicted of domestic violence from certain privileges of citizenship like owning a gun. However, laws are pointless if people step outside of them. Why is there not a larger outcry about how this was allowed to happen? Why aren’t campaigns being waged to educate gun shops, owners, etc. about the danger in providing weapons to domestic violence perpetrators. It is even more disheartening that the outcry is more like a hushed whisper when you consider that all of this happened in October, which is also National Domestic Violence Awareness month.

I’m not talking about an outcry at the just the government either. It’s time to move beyond a criminal justice solution to domestic violence. Let’s face it we have laws in place to prevent abusers from owning guns, but the laws failed in this case. They failed because that citizen stepped outside the law. I would like to believe that the person stepped outside the law because they didn’t realize that when a survivor of domestic violence leaves a situation her chances of being fatally injured by her ex increase 80%.

It’s important for each of us to realize the affect we can have on preventing domestic violence. Despite claims to the contrary, abusers are completely in control of their violence, which is why the abuse usually happens in private, and most of the time they hit in places where bruising will be easy to hide. Abuse is about power and control, not a loss of the abusers control. Which is why domestic violence is a crime that can be highly impacted by outside influences.

The terrible deaths should serve as an important reminder that domestic violence is not a family problem. It is not solely a legislative problem, or judicial problem, or a problem for the police to address. Domestic violence is a community problem. We have an affirmative responsibility as members of a broader community and as members of a smaller queer community to address the problem of domestic violence. It is not only by refraining from profit by refusing to sell a gun to someone convicted of domestic violence, but also calling out our friends when they speak to or about their partners disrespectfully, especially if we ever see them commit a violent act towards their partner. As community we bear the burden of the impact of domestic violence, so we as a community bear the responsibility of creating an environment where domestic violence disappears.

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